Yep, this is basically how ALL of my interactions on the net go. :P
Now, I'm sure this is a totally familiar scene to ALL of you. And while I made this comic extreme (as most of them are) and therefore it comes off more as trolling, there is ALOT of disrespect shown to our fellow man and woman on the internet.
Firstly, yes, I AM familiar with Penny Arcade's theory on this sort of thing. And of course they're totally right! But it got me to thinking about some stuff I haven't covered that's very important to me...
Now, sure, you've all heard me go on and on about loving yourself no matter what your size, color, complexion, gender, whateverthefuck. And of course I aim the message primarily at women, since I find they tend to be the most lacking in the confidence department and I think it's silly...
But there's more to it than that.
Yes, of course you should love your bodies! They're gorgeous and desirable. HOWEVER. I take issue with media (and the majority of people who fall for it's awful propaganda) telling us all that the only measure of a woman's worth is her physical form. That's bullshit. And to think that someone would dismiss us so easily purely on our outer appearance.
Now, before I preach, let me support the accusation. Nevermind the countless clothing, perfume, music, whateverthefuck else commercials and billboards and bustop signs barraging us from all directions. Let's look at popular sitcoms. Now, males can be overweight, balding, slovenly... But they can still play a millionaire, a genuis, a successful human being! And more than that, a DESIREABLE human being. No matter how ugly a guy is, he's almost always paired with a slim, cultural standard of beauty for a wife.
When I was in Puerto Rico I watched tons of fat, hairy, old guys walk around in speedos and shorts. Now, I have NO problem with that. What I have a problem with was any woman with a waistline bigger than my thumb cowering under towels and robes around the pool. These guys have no fear of letting it all hang out because they know their brains or wallets or social standing still mean something. But the women could be reduced to a worthless puddle of nothing and cast off if she didn't fit the leggy, thin, tan mold society has forced upon us.
Now, if I come off as angry, it's because I am. I'm incensed that anyone has bought into this ridiculous idea that all there is to a woman is her form and that anyone would dismiss someone based on something so silly. But, I wanted to address this as an issue of love.
So maybe we're not six feet tall and clear skinned and blonde and blue-eyed and perfectly tanned and busty and slim and a Barbi look-alike. That doesn't mean you're not worth something. All of the women in the world who don't conform or come naturally to the "standard of beauty" still are smart, creative, loving people. We all still have worth beyond our outer shell. If you talk to these women you will see them for the brilliant, funny, unique, talented people they are. Whatever happened to liking someone for their BRAIN or looking deeper than skin?
Now. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir. But this isn't meant to be a lecture. It's meant to help you re-evaluate the next time someone writes you off for being unattracted to you. Who the fuck cares? You could tear the assholes a new one with your scathing wit. Just smile in knowing you know better than them and what an impossibly vast and beautiful world is available to YOU, while they sit locked away beating it to porn in their mommy's basement.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, too. ;P
/preaching
EDIT: Oh gawd it says "fist" instead of "first!!!"
Oh well... it's the character's typo, not mine. :P
27 comments:
You've hit on the main reason I would NEVER post a Youtube video blog, because 99.9% of the responses would be about how I, um, have a face for radio? I couldn't handle it at all.
Also, if it makes you feel any better, I thought the fist typo was supposed to be there for realisticness!
I agree with most of what you're saying here, especially that a LOT of women find more faults in their appearance than are really there, and that society seems to conspire to make them feel that's the sole point of worth about them.
BUT it is by no means only women who feel as though everyone is judging them for their looks. The men of my acquaintance are very self-critical, but unlike women, they barely talk about it. Which doesn't help, because then nobody tries to persuade them otherwise.
(It is possible my data is skewed, since I know a lot of nerds in their early to mid twenties. Just an observation)
No, you're totally right, Argus, ALL people have self esteem issues. It's not confined to a gender. I guess because I hear women weep about it more I get more aggressive in my message to them.
But trust me. Everyone who doesn't go out of their way to be a douchebag is an awesome person and has plenty going for them. They just need to BELIEVE it first.
I agree with this entirely ^^ I am male, but it is a bit odd, that...I believe that that is clear enough for this audience to understand.
What I find REALLY funny, is that the true standards of beauty in general are not what mass media claims them to be...no matter how much they try to shove it in our face, they, like the message they try to send, don't make it far past the surface that we show to most people.
<3
I'd go on and on about the merits of mental attraction, but I'm sure you've all either heard it before or someone else would say anyway what I have to say on the subject. So I won't be redundant, here.
I will say, however, that the fallacies of self-image do bear the weight of the responsibility on women, too. Too often have I heard completely fine-figured (and REASONABLE and intelligent, I might add) and healthy women complain about their weight or figure, or call themselves fat. I make sure to take the time to correct them, of course, but that's getting away from the point, which is we should all try to maintain control of our self-image, who we really are and the person we see ourselves as.
And I suppose that's something that should go for everyone, not just gals, but guys too. There's a whole bunch of us who are insecure sheep as well. And we, as a people, both man and woman, should take advertising and outward societal pressure with a grain of salt and remember that we need to love ourselves for who we are, as well as others.
To add a little humor to the comments section. I mostly date plus sized girls that have confidence in themselves and who they are. I joke around with them and call the super model thin girls 'Twiggies'. That term is only reserved for the super thin girls otherwise known as skeleton figured that think they're hot. I am by no means trying to belittle people, but I kinda hope this term makes it big. We need some way to fight this oppressive nature in humans. I say fight fire with fire, and see how it ends?
On a side note, I know fighting fire with fire is never good, and in no way shape or form should you serious belittle anyone. I use the term 'twiggies' very loosely and in a manor of inside jokes with my GF's.
I have been on the net for ten years now and I am always saddened by the fact that I think you underestimate the amount of Trolls/HNGs out there. And if that is a real HNG then he can't spell either. I have left many a chatroom because of the idiots that tend to congregate. BTW, I think you're cute.
Bill, no this isn't a real person. I made him up. I did have an experience on an anonymous forum where no one knew what I looked like where a large group were berating a picture of perfectly normal, young, healthy looking girls. When I stepped in to say something about the negative comments someone told me the only reason I was standing up for them was because I was ugly, too. :P
I know trolls are a fact of life. I understand they exist and I ignore them. But ALL THE SAME, I will never, ever be able to understand why anyone would want to hurt a random stranger. Really.
Eric, I have extremely thin friends who are just naturally that way and don't really want to be half the time. I joke about all kinds of things (including terribly inappropriate stuff) but I also understand people of all sizes have their insecurities. I should hope we can all love who we are and walk tall!!!
David. You said it.
Exactly my usual ranting. :P
Nic: did you purposely make TrollMonster look like Sharky?
Not to defend the guys that are like this, but I wonder how much of the lewd and asshole-ness comes from peer-pressure. I've come across a few guys that act something similar to the guy in the comic and when they notice that I'm not joining in or when I call them out on it they get uncomfortable and try to backpedal a little bit. There is sadly a large amount of bad exceptions on how I guy should act and look, just as there are on women. :|
Stevie, actually, wanna know a secret?
It's the face of the luchador mask guy. ;P
FireFly, I think you're right on that, too. Group-think is extremely, extremely powerful. It's VERY difficult to stand against your peers. :/
I hate to be the anti person, but most of the people I know and am friends with are not 'model' people. What's more, they are proud of who they are and that makes all the difference in the world. Someone told me years ago, that if you're happy with who you are, then don't worry about what others think. That has helped me a lot. I came out of my shell shortly after that and am relatively infamous in my circle of peers. What's more, is that I am desired by others. I also take the whole package into consideration when I meet others. I don't go by just looks because then I wouldn't be with the women I'm with now. None of them are models, but they're all beautiful in their own minds and that makes them beautiful in my eye as well. :)
Just my own two cents.
I don't understand, ici, you don't sound "anti" at all. You sound like you're supporting just what I was preaching.
Either way, good for you! :D
You know I can never decide which is worse... guys who write that or who write "I will fuck you my sexy darling !!!!!" (to quote the latest content on my flickr page.
I absolutely agree, (and love this strip).
I think it's an important topic to bring up, considering our comic heroin is nic BUXOM ;)
Women are pressured to be super skinny with breasts and a nice bubbly butt - and that body type is extremely rare without the intervention of skilled doctors/surgeons.
I always think about super skinny girls, who's to say they aren't as insecure? Over the past few years, there has been an undercurrent fight to correct the ill message media gives; but that message is mostly towards bigger girls. The problem isn't just the pressure on "Fat girls" but on all girls in general. We're supposed to be like this and this and that, instead of having a message that says we all come in different shapes and sizes and that variety is the norm!
you're super skinny naturally? Good for u. you're super curvy? good for u. you have a flat chest? good for u. you have a huge ass (*winks @ Nic*)? good for u!
God knows men come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of hairiness - I think they're also under pressure but their identity is more based on career and social status, whereas women are "trained" to rely on looks and sexiness in order to achieve social status.
That's just what I think... =)
This is why I subscribe to the philosophy, and try to get others to subscribe, (it's so much easier on the internet where there's a subscribe button >>) of "Human First".
Meaning be a human first, and then, AFTER that, whatever else you are, be it male, female, black, white, arabic, lesbian, gay, straight, slavic, military, asian, etc, yada yada.. It'd be so much easier if everyone saw themselves as HUMANS, rather then other labels.
Of course, for alot of people it'd be a big step from there to seeing OTHERS as human too, but hey, it's a start! Everything has a start...
I work with a lot of self-proclaimed nerds and one day one of them who is on the bear-ish side was complaining that women only want muscular, handsome guys and thats why he couldnt get a date. I asked him, what kind of girls he was asking for dates and he didnt answer. (It helps a lot if you're asking. Anybody) So I told him, the things that are important in a man are niceness, sense of humor, intelligence, and of course, that he has a job and doesnt live with his mother! (Kidding on the last two. Mostly) Seriously, girls who only want muscular handsome rich guys end up with guys who only want thin, beautiful popular girls. And with no real emotions on either side, I think they only end up making each other unhappy. So boo to that.
wooo! nic
i'll stop being a lurker and say yes, absolutely yes
let the wolrd wake up and perhaps they'll actually make clothes that fit me and i wont need to spend so much time taking helms up^_^
Taller men get more promotions. Attractive women are more successful. Oh, and life's not fair. :(
It's a Trap!
There are no girls on the internet!
Thanks Nic! I really needed to hear that!
I just found this comic so i know i'm late to the party so to speak lol. But i 100% agree with you. People are so quick to judge others by their looks. I've dated guys who are not models but are smart and compatible. I'm of your body type and try hard to practice and preach the "love what you have and change for no one" mind set. Especially with my little sister growing up in the "tiny teen" era. But even strong minded people sometimes feel crappy about their looks when subjected to "you're too fat" that i have to force myself to leave photos my friends take up on facebook. I don't like seeing myself in unflattering photo's but that's how people see me so i make myself get over it lol.
Totally agree~
I often end up fanning and telling my friends how beautiful they are. They aren't twigs or really small, I often tell them I like that since they at least have meat on their bones and still look beautiful.
Probably like this cause though I'm not small I don't care how I look in public and only "dress nice/make up" once since a friend was like "you may have better chance of getting an interview this way" because society wants it, pfft other than that I say live life. Why waste time on media dictated appearances when we aren't gonna live forever anyway P:
If I may (and I'm aware of how borderline rude/creepy this is), you're quite attractive, if the pics I've seen of you are any indication. Youtubers and failbloggers have no appreciation for real beauty. Actually, a lot of anons lack any real (or realistic) taste in women, I've found.
Don't let the fucktards get you down...you are hot enuff to fuk (person must have the IQ of a turnip!)
This is kind of @julie, but also to everyone commenting on here saying they would never post pictures because of that reason:
really???
I've been called SO much worse a LOT online. But hey, it's the freaking internet. If stranger's words really affect you, you should probably get offline and see someone about that. It's a problem. It's a stranger typing on a keyboard. How could that possible insult you?
The only way you should really be insulted about that stuff is if you're a preteen or just very insecure. It's sad. Get over it.
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