Featured Fetish: Erotic Asphyxiation

Okay, very first things first my appearance on Will Sean Podcast? is up!
The two vanilla hosts talk about their first visit to the dungeon and first meeting with me and I talk about the inner workings of the pro-domme world. Plus, a story I haven't written about here!
It's episode 8: Tie Us Up, Tie Us Down.
Check them out on itunes to download the interview (and be sure to rate them well!)
If you're like me and you don't have itunes then you can listen on the blog.
And lastly, be sure to "like" them on facebook! There are even a couple pictures on there of me dominating the hosts! ;)

Now, the Featured Fetish! Erotic Asphyxiation.
I portrayed a couple partaking of this fetish because someone doing this by themselves (a more common occurrence) is called auto-erotic asphyxiation. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is PARTICULARLY dangerous as you render yourself helpless and nobody is nearby to assist. It is thought to be a leading cause of deaths often mistaken as suicide by hanging...

It's hard for me to talk about this fetish because it is SO dangerous. I have participated in this fetish with a client before but I can NOT recommend it to anyone. It is ALWAYS dangerous play. "Breath play", as we call it in the scene, is considered "edge play" which is the term for very dangerous forms of BDSM activities (such as knife/blood play etc.)

People enjoy this kind of play because depriving blood and oxygen to the brain gives one a loopy, dizzying sort of ecstasy. Many people who have issues with dopamine levels in the brain (often ex-drug users) will need more extreme sensations such as this one to achieve orgasm. This is, of course, not to say that everyone who partakes of this is involved with drugs or has a chemical deficiency. There's absolutely not only a physical high but a thrill from participating in such risky behavior.

A big mistake people make with erotic asphyxiation is thinking that you need to press firmly against the front of the throat. This is dangerous and unpleasant as it depresses the windpipe (and CAN crush it if one applies too much force.) When I engage in erotic asphyxiation I actually press very little against the windpipe, I use my fingers to press against the veins on either side of the neck, just under the jaw. This allows my submissive to continue to breathe with comfort but cuts down the bloodflow to the brain and therefore achieves the dizzy, head-rush type of feeling that people are after with this play.

When I do this (rarely) I keep VERY close watch on my bottom. Always do it with them laying down so they will not fall and hit their heads if they become faint. Since they usually can't speak well I ask them to tap on my thigh when they want me to stop. If their eyes begin to flutter, I stop. If the breathing appears labored, I stop. And I almost always stop before they signal me because I do NOT want them to pass out. Some partners play to the point of unconsciousness, I do not think that's safe or ethical or even necessary to achieve the desired high.

I apologize if this was a stern write-up but it makes me nervous that any of you may jump into this because I'd really you rather not...
But if you must, stick with hands. There's more control. Using ropes and such can damage the windpipe like I mentioned but they're also harder to loosen at a moments notice, they can often stick and catch in a noose-like fashion and are more likely to leave marks.

Play safe, sane and consensual, people!!!

22 comments:

Lori said...

Can I also add: Blocking off the arteries in the neck can break off plaque (common in older people, heavy people, and/or people with high cholesterol) and will cause a stroke. Not a great idea.

Also, rubbing the arteries will cause a vagal maneuver which causes a lowering of the heart rate which can cause a cardiac arrest.

Nic said...

Yea, there's really no way to do it that's HEALTHY for a person, what's why doing this one made me so nervous. :/

Kelly said...

On the upside, I LOVE the way you portrayed it and the drawing is absolutely beautiful! :)

narkosys said...

and now I have read through your entire archive and are left waiting for the next update :(

Keep up the good work young lady!

Anarcho-Cynicalist said...

A better way I've seen (and had used on me) of doing it (still dangerous!) is by putting a hand over the mouth and closing the nostrils with the fingers of that hand. It is cutting off the air supply, but it's easy to move the hand, and it's easy for the submissive to move their head away from the hand to get breath. Additionally, with how delicate the neck is and all the things in the neck, I think this way works better.

model S said...

i have a friend who's really into this. every time we -ahem- "play" she begs for it. like anarcho said, it's much safer to cover their mouth and nose, and not touch the neck. though she does like her neck held...

MeRLoT said...

"ZZ Topless"...nice.

Mouse In Chains said...

I have to confess that I *do* enjoy blood chokes. The way I was taught, the bottom holds up their arm. If the arm goes down, that means stop, NOW. This has the added that if the bottom passes out, down goes the arm, so you have a little bit of a safety net. Though of course, as everyone else has said, there is absolutely no way to make this truly safe.

I would also add an additional warning that patients with a known aneurysm, or a family history of aneurysms, should never, ever engage in breathplay. That's a very good way to die, sometimes without anyone knowing anything is wrong.

Nic said...

I personally never liked having my mouth and nose closed. Maybe its my slight claustrophobia but I instantly feel like I can't breathe and start to fight. All anxiety, no floaty.
I'm glad that it seems like most of you not only play safe but are sure to communicate with your partners. :) Good job, kinksters!

Also, Merlot; That has to be my favorite line from the whole podcast. Such a perfect visual! XD

Madam Argiope Aurantia said...

I've been on the receiving end of asphyxiation before, both from erotic purposes and JuJitsu choke holds (attacking the veins, same method). It's kind of embarrassing, but in my JuJitsu class I have the reputation of the chick who defends that choke to the END!

Most of the other fighters don't know how long they can last, and tap out at the first sensations of choking. I do tap before I pass out, I'm not THAT crazy, but I come out of it laughing for various reasons.

Miss Kara said...

Yeah, this fetish freaks me out a little, I can't stand things too close to my neck lol

I like the way the couple in the picture sort of forms a heart, though ^_^ Their outline, that is. That was clever.

Honestly, Nic, be stern if you need to be. If people are going to participate in this fetish, they need to be aware of the dangers and take them seriously. So good on you.

obsidian said...

not related but I haven't been keeping up. For extra money try clips4sale.com - it's pretty easy to make an extra $500-$1000/mo if you update frequently and take requests... a lot of them are just waving your feet in pp's faces or talking into a shitty webcam - the more taboo the better. Mine makes the most with me talking about really repulsive toilet humiliation I would never actually do, talking about "drugging" or "poisoning" or how I would kill someone, castration, blasphemy, racial humiliation is huge... if you're creative and can be a bitch just talking into a webcam, no edits, should do fine with "domme pov" just pretend you're talking to whoever in person... it's the easiest thing I've found, fuck you can make money doing something stupid like popping balloons. Also look into niteflirt, it's a phone service that is pretty popular and has domination categories. And seriously, advertising independently will make you more than working at a dungeon... I dunno how much he current passive arts takes from you guys but even only doing outcalls with limited equipment was more profitable for me than taking sessions at a dungeon...

obsidian said...

and as far as asphyxiation goes, I'm an edge play girl on both ends. I love giving and to a lesser degree receiving playing with needles, knives, suturing, fisting, and asphyxiation. If you go a bit more heavy with it, have some smelling salts on hand, they help. :)

obsidian said...

I really don't think that breath play was this vilified until that one famous dude did himself in, then it suddenly became included in the no nos... was a bit silly, breath play is quite safe if you don't take it too far, even someone passing out won't kill them/you... the auto erotic asphyxiaters are just stupid, if you are trusting someone to choke you out they should be someone worth trusting also. But I don't see a difference between that and trusting someone to stick their fingers up your ass... that one would be harder, with nails and inexperienced folks, at least if someone taps out you know regardless of experience that it's gone a bit too far... can't say the same for irresponsible ass play.

Nic said...

"Irresponsible AssPlay" is my new band name.

I actually am on Niteflirt and I've long considered Clips4Sale, I was just worried I couldn't keep my content updated enough. I should get on it. I was always thinking about more action-packed clips (like two girl spankings etc) and not as much about just solo verbal stuff. THAT I could do in my free time. Hmmm...

Kate said...

First off: THANK YOU! I requested this one and your portrayal of it is gorgeous and sensual. I love it!!!

Secondly: I'M SORRY! I didn't think ahead to the dangers of just jumping into this! (Must not be enough blood flowing to MY brain, lol) I'm so sorry for making you worry about your fans with this one, I really feel awful.

Please listen to Mistress Nic on this one, everybody!! Breath-play IS DANGEROUS. BE CAREFUL!!

Nic said...

Don't apologize, Kate! I like to talk about the ins and outs of each Featured Fetish but I didn't want to go handing out my blessing for people to just start choking each other out. :) I think it's important to sometimes mention the dangers that come with bdsm play. It's not ALL fun and games.

lisavilisa said...

I'm claustrophobic too. If I had a partner who wanted me to top them in this way I would only do he mouth cover, either with my hands, boobs, butt, or something of that nature. I don't think I would ever feel safe choking them.

Blacksheep said...

After a brief bash of insomnia here I am at the newest comic in one night. Maybe I'm just a gluten or something, but after each comic I was like "Ill lay down after the next." Lol Even dozed off a couple times in my seat, woke up when my head hit the desk and started reading again.
Tired soldier rambling. This is my fetish so I thought I would put in my two cents. I normally go till I pass out, though its only happened a few times because I know most of the counters to common blood chokes, more so the ones I teach my spouse. Its not that I'm scared she'd hurt me, (She came at me with a knife a couple years back) its more of... no one wants to get choked to death by a girl half their size that's a preschool teacher.
Good comic, give us more.
-Blacksheep

Unknown said...

I actually recently (last night) tried this with my girlfriend, we did have safe words in place and she had to use the caution one once, but never have i seen her so... happy or content as she was after she came to that. sorry if this is TMI for anyone.

Anonymous said...

The best and safest way I've experienced this is to position yourself with your head hanging off the edge of the bed. With your head tilted back, it lowers the air supply but as soon as you feel uncomfortable or if it starts to get too much, simply lift your head. Haven't tried it solo but it's a great position with a partner ;)

Kittie La Rue

Anonymous said...

except if you pass that limit, and your head stays hung back... it's better to have a system where you put an effort into the air restriction and going limp will give you your air back (engineer here, it's called passive safety)

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