Here on Gilligan's Isle

Here's an update from Puerto Rico!
I had a TERRIBLE experience getting here, ugh. I was supposed to arrive Thursday evening. But when I landed in Orlando, Florida for my first layover they told me my next flight had been canceled. So, I spent some time with an agent and they booked me on another. Except the flight they booked me on didn't seem to be going anywhere. After a few hours of standing around with angry people they told us the plane had been struck by lightening (no joke) and that we couldn't take the flight.

At this point, I'm used to LAX, which is a HUGE airport that has flights 24hrs a day. I forgot that most airports are not as sizeable and not in major cities equiped for full-time business travel and such. Apparently, this 5-6ish flight was one of the last few going out of Orlando and the hundreds of people expecting to catch it were shit out of luck. Just like me...
So, I stood in line with all of these angry, tired people for 3-4 hours before they told me they were sticking me in a hotel room over night and my new flight was at 7am. I didn't arrive at the hotel until about 10pm. I immediately took a bath for an hour or two, got a 4 hour nap and then woke up at 4-something-am in the morning to catch a shuttle back to the airport. The 40min flight jump from Orlando to Miami went smoothly and I was certain I was almost to my destination, tired and sore as I was. Except my connecting flight from Miami to Puerto Rico? Plan malfunction. ANOTHER canceled flight. Awesome.

So, I get transfered to yet ANOTHER flight that doesn't load until an hour after it was supposed to, likely because of all the angry fliers with me complaining and holding up the process. I finally get on the plane and people are milling about for an hour. The flight attendents keep coming on over the intercom and begging us to sit down so we can get on our way. When I see there are no more people lingering in the aisles I relax a bit, sure I'm finally on my final flight. But minutes pass with no movement and no word and I peer into the aisle to see flight attendents scowling over something worriedly. They finally tell us that there is WATER ON THE CARPET and that we can't fly with a wet carpet.

This is when I'm FINALLY ready to lose my shit. I have been polite and gracious this whole time, I have lost a day of my travels with no compensation and I have had THREE flights canceled in that timespan. Luckily, they tell us that once they dry it we can leave so we sit on our asses for an hour and then we go. AT LAST! The moral of the story is to never, ever fly American Airlines. I won't do it again. Apparently all of their planes are falling apart at the seams. SCARY.

My mantra through all of this torture was Louis CK's words:

So, late last night I made it into Puerto Rico safe and sound and I slept forever. Uuugh. But, I can say that it's GORGEOUS here. It's hot but not as hot and wet as I suspected it would be. I'm sure when I hit the rain forest I'll be eating those words. The beach is gorgeous and we're RIGHT ON IT. I'll get pics up very soon. The water is SO warm. Mmmm... I'm not even a beach person but my god, it's like paradise here. I can't wait to show you guys photos.

Okay, so, talk about the comic time. This fetish is REALLY hard to illustrate via comic. You kinda need to hear me make the sounds. Still, hopefully I got across what was going on here. Yea, I didn't lipsynch to MUSIC. I had to lipsynch to a sloooow, deep voiced clip from Gilligan's Island. This is very real but also very unique. It gets better, just wait! There's two more updates to this fetish, both of which will let on what the weirdest thing I've ever done is. But first, I know today is a Featured Fetish day so I'm gonna give you one of those tomorrow. Then we'll be on our merry way!

Talk at ya'll soon!


Anonymous said...

Sorry you had such a rough trip. Hope your vacation goes better than the travel did.

Nurrah Vehnekamp said...

Ugh... American Air.. I sympathise...

Smarmodon said...

This reminds me of a book I read awhile ago. I've even forgotten the name, but basically it was about this airplane that completely malfunctioned and crashed. It went into the way airlines buy planes and their maintenance; apparently some cheaper airlines buy their planes from the better airlines after half the plane's lifespan is over, refurb them cheaply so that they (sometimes barely) pass inspection, and then use them for commercial flights.

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